REACT
REACT
As Assessment
How are we to have a constructive conversation about our mental health? To put this in context - we are so adept in having constructive conversations about our physical health in describing our physical pain as to where it is located and what we feel when the pain is agitated, the frequency of such, the intensity of the distress. Yet, when speaking of mental health, self-assessment, and the assessment of others, far too often takes on a different tack and an altogether different dimension, which is that of diagnosis – for example, “I’m feeling paranoid,” “I’m depressed,” “I’m having anxiety,” “he’s being OCD,” “he’s being bipolar”. Conversations about mental health somehow oftentimes takes on clinical language, packed with presumption, yet lacking in precision and relatability. It could be a helpful starting point, but only if the conversation goes anywhere beyond labeling and nomenclature.
A simple way to define mental health is to say it's pretty much about the way we react to distress, namely distress which stems from "things" of a mental nature, thoughts, memories, emotions. What "things"? Stress from deadlines (procrastination is a mental health concern). Stress from a particularly challenging communication (or lack of communication) with someone, such as an irate boss, stress from being guilt-tripped or gas-lighted (gas-lit?) for instance. Then there's stress, worry, over a family member's medical situation. Stress, worry over financial challenges. These are all "things" we can say are significantly of a "mental" nature, things not seen or diagnosable through an X-ray or CT scan, yet have a significant hold on our minds and occupy our day-to-day, minute-by-minute experience of life, and can unsettle our sense of balance not matter how "strong" we are, mental distress can unsettle our sense of balance like waves in the ocean, storms in the sky (oftentimes and maybe there's something to be said that the "strongest" of us are in fact those most vulnerable/exposed to intense forms of stress beyond our control). Mental health is our capacity (let's make a distinction here between "ability" and "capacity") to experience a sense of balance when faced with overwhelming feelings coming in our direction.
The idea to REACT is to offer a template for having conversations about mental health, to build awareness of mental health without getting lost in nomenclature, to share in the experience of mental health as shared humanity, and to have a natural way of supporting one another simply through the experience of giving and receiving empathy. The elements of REACT - the R, E, A, C, T - form the basis for our capacity for mental health with regard to personal responsibility (which is what is in our control as opposed to what is not in our control). Each element is an integral part of the mindfulness and self-awareness needed to navigate through mental/emotional and social-relational challenges. One can assess oneself based on each element of REACT, and one can easily relate to another who describes it. Discussions about REACT are meaningful and transformative, the kind that counselors would laud as “breakthroughs” in the therapy room. And, each element of REACT connects in an integral way. Empathy itself is powered by and depends on Respect, Acceptance, Courage, and Trust. Courage is a function of Trust. Acceptance comes from respecting that we are all equal in dignity no matter where we come from or what we have done.
Having a more precise language and an intuitive approach to describing our mental health helps those seeking to understand us (those giving us empathy) a way to relate to us and be in the trenches with us during our struggles. The basis of communication, real communication that is, is not about abstraction and labeling, rather – it is about relating and growing in understanding. Besides helping us express and articulate our needs to others, and helping others know what it is we need, dialogue itself is therapeutic in that it engages in cognition and grounds us in our better nature. In seeking real communication, the kind that is about helping others understand us (not merely dumping whatever comes to mind on another, and its inverse: truly listening to another), we engage in cognition and groundedness. The aspect of cognition is that the act of real communication has a physiological effect of slowing down our brain and helping allow for a sense of balance and equanimity rather than adding fuel to the fire when adrenaline and cortisol are coursing through our veins. The other aspect, groundedness, comes from the humility of having to lower ourselves on level ground to connect with another, and sharing, partaking in something beyond ourselves. We are meant to be in real communication with one another, to give ourselves in this way, and to learn the depths of our humanity this way, to see ourselves reflected in this shared humanity, having a true understanding of ourselves this way, rather than from the distortions of self-isolation, that echo chamber or hall of mirrors. We truly are relational beings and never truly alone.
The quiet of our mind, the weakness inevitable in our nature, the mental anguish we experience from time to time only really becomes problematic when we drift away from relationship and towards isolation and self-absorption, even worse is if we ever banish ourselves from any meaningful connection including the theological, especially so in fact. When we deem ourselves lonely yet know not where or whom to communicate that we are lonely, does that echo in our mind and just serve to amplify the feeling of loneliness, does it then give us something to wallow in?
Mind Chatter
Is it truly possible to talk to yourself? If not, how does mind chatter come about and how is it that it preoccupies your mind so resonantly and automatically, and how can it cause so much torment. Are we truly having a conversation when this occurs? Or merely a pre-recorded album or pre-programmed “A.I.” of fragments we have held onto and reinforced over time, a broken record of unprocessed criticism and judgments we have heard from others and now tell ourselves to seemingly no end. What happens to this mind chatter when we instead seek to convert our thoughts into conversations, into real communication with an “other”? Try sharing your irrepressible thoughts and feelings if not to an actual person then to a future person. Instead of “dear diary” (aka “dear imaginary personified material object”), try “dear friend” or “dear future son or daughter.” And, in the “solitude” of your mind, what of seeking mental prayer as an actual dialogue with God regarding your mental health, your thoughts and feelings– Dear heavenly Father, I am feeling lonely right now. I feel stuck. Dear heavenly father, I can’t seem to get any homework done tonight, I keep playing minecraft instead. In converting our mind chatter into real conversation with an actual person (for example, God) in mind, having to explain our thoughts and provide context to them as the act of communication necessitates, we become more thoughtful and measured, reason comes into action and irons out the wrinkles, it tempers us.
With real communication, grounding ourselves with dialogue, it is basically love in action we experience. We are no longer that island we imagine ourselves to be. Instead, we grow in awareness of how we are attached to something much larger, our connection to reality becomes more apparent. We cannot understand ourselves in isolation apart from connection and communication. And being in connection and communication, even in our solitude, is what we need to get through mental health challenges. Consider why it is that such a solitary activity as reading a book can be so therapeutic or listening to music, or stand-up comedy perhaps. Good creative work is a form of communication, connecting us with something besides ourselves, and consequently we deepen our understanding of ourselves.
On the other hand, in expressing ourselves through communication, creative work, writing to someone rather than no one is the panacea of knowing that we are heard. It is something we have come to expect from the experience of going to counseling but is not exclusive to professional therapy. REACT is a simple and accessible template for engaging in dialogue about our mental health and arriving at the panacea of being heard.
REACT simply involves
considering these five things at any point in our day-to-day lives though particularly
when we are feeling challenged, and offering these thoughts through communication and can serve as context for prayerful conversation:
RESPECT
Self-respect: Do I recognize my dignity? Do I recognize my potential for growth? Do I acknowledge my day-to-day self-care needs? Do I recognize where my dignity comes from and how it is unconditional?
Do I recognize and respect that others are equal in dignity?
EMPATHY
Self-empathy: Do I give myself space for observing
and understanding myself (self-reflection) rather than jumping to conclusions
about myself.
Am I truly listening when others speak to me? Do I give others space to communicate to me? Do I seek to understand others? Or, do I jump to conclusions about others and presume what they are thinking.
COURAGE
Do I have the courage to do the right thing?
Do I have the courage to be open to feedback? Since I may expect what comes my way to be painful, being open takes courage. Being defensive, or closed off, might give me a sense of being protected from the bad, but it also shuts out the good from entering.
Am I willing to defend what is true, good, and beautiful?
Do I know where my courage comes from?
TRUST
Do I trust that there is more to me, more to life than what meets the eye and what I presume?
Do I trust that God loves me?
Am I worthy of the trust others place in me?
REACT curriculum
The curriculum of HS REACT, in preparing 8th graders for high school with respect to mental health, boils down to moderating the following in boys-only and girls-only groups:
- Conversations about stress, time-management, day-to-day short-term goal-setting
- Conversations about communication, anger, forgiveness, friendship, family
- Conversations about loss, grief
- Conversations about vision, long-term goals
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